


Unexpected

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blanket Permission, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-08
Updated: 2010-09-07
Packaged: 2017-10-30 22:45:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt was, “Sam had sex with the Trickster, though he tries to forget. In Changing Channels he gets zapped into a nursery.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just a One Night Stand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kijikun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kijikun/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has to be a trick.

Sam blinked around him. This wasn’t a TV show, as far as he could tell. At least, there were no other people around.

Including Dean, which was worrying. The Trickster had always kept them together before.

He took a closer look at his surroundings. A nursery, apparently. Complete with cartoon jungle wallpaper and an elaborate mobile hanging over the crib.

Crib. There was something in the crib. Or rather, someone.

He took a few steps closer. A small boy, about two years old, blinked solemnly back at him. He had the same color hair as Sam did, cut into bangs that fell over his eyes, also the same color as Sam’s.

But as he watched the boy grinned and smacked his thumb into his fingers. His eyes turned golden brown, and the mobile started rotating.

Sam almost fell over himself backpedaling from the crib. _No. That didn’t happen, and anyway there’s no reason there would be a…_ Fuck, _this has to be a trick!_

He stared around wildly, trying to find a way out of here, back to Dean.

“Hey, Sammy,” a soft voice said behind him.

Sam whirled, to see the Trickster looking at him with an oddly uncertain expression. “You!”

The uncertain expression faded a little, replaced by the familiar smirk. “Me. You were expecting Ed Sullivan?”

“What the fuck is that?” Sam demanded, waving at the crib.

The corners of the Trickster’s mouth tightened, and his eyes grew steely. “Is that any way to talk about your son?”

 _No, that’s…_ “T-that’s impossible,” he stammered. “I mean how–”

“You don’t remember?” the Trickster asked, softly again.

“ _No!_ ” He didn’t remember liking the Trickster when he thought he was just a janitor and not what they were hunting. He didn’t remember having sex with him when Dean kept dying. He couldn’t remember it, since it hadn’t happened.

The Trickster stalked over to the crib and stroked a hand over the boy’s hair. “Whether you remember or not, it happened.”

“B-but _how?_ I-I mean…” He’d never planned on having kids…well, OK, the thought had crossed his mind when he thought he’d be marrying Jess, but _this_ …

The Trickster folded his arms and hunched over. “I’m a Trickster. It happens.”

“You planned this!” Sam accused him. He was going to use the kid as leverage, try to blackmail him…

“I did _not!_ ” the Trickster snapped, actually sounding offended. “It just…happened. I had other things to worry about at the time.”

Sam scowled, refusing to remember the ‘other things.’ “So what are you going to do with him?”

“Keep him, of course! What do you take me for?”

Sam peered at the Trickster. He didn’t believe that, not for a minute, but the Mystery Spot was over two years ago, three if you counted the time loop, and the kid was still here. Maybe he wouldn’t lose interest.

“But why bring me here?”

“I…figured you had a right to know. I mean, he’s yours too.”

Sam shook his head frantically. “No. That didn’t happen.” The kid wasn’t his. This was a trick. He wasn’t leaving his blood in the hands of a Trickster.

The Trickster’s mouth twitched. “Fine.”

He snapped his fingers, and Sam was suddenly in the middle of a crime scene, Dean oblivious next to him.


	2. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam’s never going to see his son again, whether Gabriel takes him to Heaven or stays on Earth.

After finding out the Trickster is _Gabriel_ Sam’s even more worried. And also freaked out. He had a kid with an _archangel._ An archangel posing as a pagan god, true, but still. He guesses that explains how it happened, although there’s no way he’s asking Cas about the finer points of angelic reproduction.

He thinks for the first time that it’s a good thing God’s gone. After all, He wasn’t exactly sympathetic to this kind of situation in Enoch. Sam doesn’t want his kid wiped out.

His kid. Sam sighs. He’s accepted the fact that the kid is real, and his, since the other explanations don’t make sense. The way Gabriel had acted in the nursery…it was like he’d acted when they had him in the holy fire…vulnerable, defiant and angry.

Gabriel had wanted him to accept the fact that he was telling the truth, Sam sees that now. He thinks that’s kind of unfair, given Gabriel’s previous record. 

But he has accepted it, and now he’s worried. He doesn’t think Gabriel will just dump the kid off somewhere, not after seeing how angry he was at what Michael and Lucifer were doing, but...

Sam can’t help but wonder how much of the whole “play your roles” thing was what Gabriel actually thought, and how much was bravado. After all, a Nephilim would hardly be welcome in Heaven, and if the world burned there would be nowhere else for them to go.

It’s a moot point anyway. Sam’s never going to see his son again, whether Gabriel takes him to Heaven or stays on Earth. The thought turns his stomach hot and sharp with the feeling that he’s been cheated. Again. Life’s not fair, obviously, but there’s a difference between life being unfair and being dumped on at every possible opportunity.

Sam realizes he doesn’t even know if the kid has a name. _Don’t be stupid, of course he has a name!_ Gabriel must have named him. Without Sam. He has no clue what his own son’s name is, hadn’t been given any say in the matter.

He stares at the motel ceiling, convinced he won’t fall asleep at all that night, but he eventually drifts off.

***

He’s back in the nursery, standing in front of the crib. The Trickster– _Gabriel_ – is standing next to him.

“Is this real?”

Gabriel nods. “It’s real,” he says softly.

“But we’re supposed to be invisible to angels!” Sam protests. “The sigils...”

Gabriel shrugs. “I’m not just any angel. And I’ve got a connection to you.” His hand comes down again on the sleeping boy’s head.

Sam thinks he should probably be a lot more uncomfortable with that than he actually is. “Have you named him yet?”

Gabriel shifts his weight from one foot to the other and mutters, “No.”

Sam laughs incredulously. “So, what, you’ve just been calling him ‘Hey you’ for two years?”

Gabriel chuckles. “Pretty much. But he’s actually only a year old.”

Sam stares at the boy. He definitely looks at least two. “But the Mystery Spot was two years ago!”

“Ah, so we’re admitting to that now, are we?”

Sam flushes, but mutters, “Yes.”

He expects Gabriel to gloat, but he only says, “To answer your question, yes, the Mystery Spot was two years ago, but angels have a longer gestation than humans.”

 _Gestation. God._ “Do you have any idea how surreal this is?”

Gabriel grins. “Yeah, but you’re a Winchester. You’re used to surreal.”

Sam laughs again. “You do have a point.

“So are you going to name him?” Sam asks after a moment.

Gabriel shrugs. “I guess I’d better. I didn’t want to name him, without…” He doesn’t continue, but Sam’s oddly touched that Gabriel wanted his input enough to wait a year to name his son.

“So what are we going to call him?”

“Fjallgeirr?” Gabriel suggests.

Sam chokes. “Are you _kidding?!_ ”

Gabriel smirks at him. “Yeah.” 

Sam’s tempted to punch him, archangel or not, but thinks better of it.

Gabriel thinks for a moment. “How about Jonah?”

“Jonah,” Sam repeats slowly, considering. “Yeah, that might work.”

“Jonah it is then,” Gabriel says, and Sam nods, looking down at his sleeping son.

“Hello, Jonah.”


	3. Hit the Fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds out.

Sam’s got Jonah on his lap in the motel room. Normally Gabriel doesn’t show up where they are, since Sam _really_ doesn’t want Dean finding out about this, but he’s never actually met Jonah in reality and Dean should be gone for awhile, so they’re risking it.

He should have known better. The door opens, and they both freeze. Dean’s eyes dart to Gabriel. “You! What the fuck are you doing here?!”

“Daddy!” Jonah whimpers at the noise and buries his head in Sam’s shoulder. Sam shushes him, and refuses to look at Dean.

“ _Daddy?!_ ” Dean repeats, and Jonah starts crying softly.

“Dean, you’re scaring him,” Sam murmurs, rocking Jonah against him.

“I’m sc–“ Dean cuts himself off, then growls, “You. Outside. Now!”

Sam winces. It’s never a good sign when Dean’s reduced to one-word sentences. He hands Jonah to Gabriel, follows Dean outside and waits for the explosion.

“Alright Sam, why did he call you ‘daddy’? And what’s the Trickster doing here?”

“He’s mine. The baby I mean,” Sam says, choosing to ignore the second question.

“Yours,” Dean repeats. “Yeah, right. Where’s the mother? You haven’t had sex…with…anyone…in…”

Sam’s tempted to cover his face with his hands, but he stares back at Dean defiantly as he connects the dots.

“Dude. Tell me you didn’t. With the _Trickster?_ ”

Sam stares at the ground.

“How the fuck did it even _happen?_ ”

Sam shrugs. “He’s an angel. Technically they don’t have gender. I guess it’s possible.”

“I can’t believe this,” Dean mutters, and takes out his cell phone. “Cas? Get over here now. It’s important.”

Great, now Sam’s gonna have to deal with Cas possibly smiting Jonah on top of everything else. Not that Cas can smite much of anything anymore, but still...

A moment later Cas appears in front of the motel room.

“Sam had a kid with the Trickster,” Dean says before he can even ask.

Cas’ eyes widen and he disappears again.

“The fuck?” Dean mutters, exchanging a glance with Sam. He shrugs.

When they go back into the room Gabriel is in the corner, holding Jonah against him.

“Gabriel,” Cas is saying, as if it’s not the first time he’s asked, “May I see the child please.”

“No,” Gabriel says calmly, but his lips are thin.

“I will not harm him.”

Gabriel growls. “Fine. But if you do anything to him you’ll get the chance to see if whatever magically resurrected you is willing to do it again.”

Dean starts forward at that, but Sam grabs his arm.

Cas takes Jonah from Gabriel and looks into his eyes. Jonah grabs hold of his tie and blows a raspberry.

Cas carefully disentangles his tie from Jonah’s fingers and hands him back to Gabriel, then looks at Dean. “The child has both Grace and a human soul. It seems you were right.”

He looks troubled. Sam supposes he can’t blame him. After all, this hasn’t happened in millennia, and the first time it happened humanity was almost wiped out.

“So you’ve been having sex with the Trickster,” Dean growls, clenching his fists.

“Dean, it was just the one time!” Sam protests. “I didn’t know this would happen!”

“When?” Dean demands. “When did it happen?”

“At–” Sam’s voice comes out a whisper, and he clears his throat and repeats, “At the Mystery Spot.”

Dean’s mouth opens, then shuts again. Finally he manages, “You had sex with the Trickster _while he was killing me?_ ”

“It’s not like that!” Sam insists. “Dean, it was just a one-night stand! After three months of you dying every day I wasn’t thinking straight!” He notices out of the corner of his eye that Gabriel’s lips are pinched again and winces internally, but he doesn’t have time to deal with that right now. He’s too busy making sure his brother doesn’t take the Impala and leave him here.

“And it hasn’t happened since?” Dean asks suspiciously.

“Dude, you know how I act when I’m hiding things. Have I been acting like that lately?”

“Well…no,” Dean concedes.

The silence stretches, and Sam finds himself sweating.

Gabriel snorts suddenly, hands Jonah to Sam and walks over to Dean, poking him in the chest. “Typical.”

Dean’s eyes narrow. “What?”

Gabriel shrugs lazily. “Oh, it just figures all that ‘family über alles’ you go on about is bullshit. You’re a hypocrite, Winchester.”

Sam groans. He does _not_ need Gabriel provoking Dean, not when he’s already pissed.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Dean growls.

“You _claim_ that your brother is the most important thing in your life. But just because he had a kid you didn’t know about (which, incidentally, he didn’t know about himself until recently), you’re acting like you’re gonna disown him. And you haven’t acknowledged your nephew at all.”

“My nephew?” Dean repeats, glaring at Gabriel.

“Jonah,” Gabriel says, nodding at him. “He’s your _blood,_ Winchester. Regardless of the fact that you don’t like me, he’s still related to you.”

Dean throws up his hands. “I can’t deal with this!” He stalks toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Sam demands.

“To go get drunk, or shoot myself in the head or something,” Dean says over his shoulder, slamming the door behind him.

Sam would be more concerned, but Cas follows Dean outside. He’ll keep Dean from doing anything stupid. Or, well, stupider than usual.

He collapses on the bed, curling around Jonah. “Did you _have_ to do that?” he mutters.

“Yes,” Gabriel replies, his eyes flashing. “He was being a bastard. Someone needed to call him on it.”

“I don’t think accusing him of hypocrisy is gonna help him accept the situation,” Sam says.

Gabriel shrugs.

Sam can tell there’s something bothering him, something other than Dean’s reaction, and after a moment he says, “You weren’t thinking straight, huh?”

 _Dammit. I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass._ “I didn’t mean that!”

“Yeah,” Gabriel says softly, “You did.”

Sam sighs. “Alright, I did. But…” He’s not quite sure how to continue, so he puts Jonah down, gets up and presses his lips to Gabriel’s, just for a moment.

Gabriel’s eyes widen, and Sam thinks he’s actually shocked. “Sam?”

“Don’t you think it’s time we fed him?” Sam asks, looking down at Jonah.

Gabriel narrows his eyes at him, but allows the change in subject.


	4. It Never Rains…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean’s dealing, barely, but there are other problems.

Dean had been surprised when Cas followed him out of the motel, but he hadn’t objected. Now Cas is sitting silently in the passenger seat as Dean drives at unsafe speeds through a residential area.

“How can you be so calm about this?” Dean demands.

Dean sees the motion of Cas’ shrug out of the corner of his eye. “It has happened. There is no use trying to change it.”

Dean scowls. “But the _Trickster–_ ” he begins.

“It has happened,” Cas repeats.

Dean sighs. “We can’t take care of a kid! We’re in the middle of the Apocalypse!”

“Presumably Gabriel will help,” Cas says.

Dean sighs again and nods. “Fine. I’ll talk to Sam when we get back. Just…give me a little more time to process it, huh?”

Cas nods.

***

Gabriel looks at Jonah, who’s currently painting his high-chair tray with mashed peas. He had been feeding him nothing but junk food, but Sam had put his foot down. “He’s fed.”

Sam nods. When he doesn’t say anything else Gabriel prompts him, “So why’d you kiss me?”

“I…“ Sam doesn’t really know why he kissed him. He only knows he couldn’t stand the look on Gabriel’s face…

And there it is again. Gabriel’s mouth tightens, his eyes shutter and his shoulders tense. “Ah. So it was a pity kiss.”

“Gabriel–”

But he’s gone, suddenly, without even the noise of wings.

“Fuck!”

“Fuck!” Jonah says brightly from the high-chair.

Sam stares at him, his mouth opening and closing. _**Fuck!**_

***

When Dean gets back Sam is sitting slumped on the bed and Jonah is rolling around on the floor.

“Dude,” Dean says. Motel floors have almost as much crap on them as the beds. At least Sam’s put all their weapons out of reach. He squats down in front of Jonah. “Hi. What’s your name?”

Jonah stands up, looks at him for a moment, then says, “Jonah.”

“Hi, Jonah. My name’s Dean.” He shoots a glance at Sam, who’s looked up and has a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’m your daddy’s brother.”

Jonah considers this. “You and my daddy have the same daddy?”

Dean nods. “And the same mommy too. And you know what that makes me?”

“What?”

“It makes me your uncle.”

Jonah thinks a minute, then grins. “OK,” he says, then runs into the bathroom.

Dean shakes his head at the kid’s energy and gets up.

“So what crawled up your ass and died?”

“Nothing!” Sam snaps.

“Uh-huh, which is why I find you moping and letting the kid get filthy.”

“What do you care?”

Dean winces. “Dude, of course I care!”

“But you didn’t want anything to do with him!”

“Which is why the first thing I did when I got back is talk to him, yeah,” Dean snorts. Then goes into the bathroom to make sure the kid hasn’t drowned himself in the toilet or something. “Don’t you have any toys for him or anything?” he asks, when he’s dragged him back out where he can keep an eye on him.

Sam shakes his head. “Gabriel took care of all of that.”

“Where is he anyway?” Dean asks.

Sam slumps again. “Gone,” he says hollowly.

“‘Gone’? What do you mean ‘gone’? When will he be back?”

“I don’t know!” Sam snaps.

“So let me get this, straight,” Dean says angrily, “The guy who gave me a lecture for not acknowledging my _nephew_ _abandoned_ his _son?!_ What the fuck, Sam?”

“Fuck!” Jonah says, and Dean stares at him, momentarily sidetracked.

“Trickster teach him that?”

“His name is Gabriel, Dean! And…no.”

Dean laughs. “Corrupting little kids? Sammy, I’m surprised at you!”

“Shut up,” Sam mutters.

“So why’d the…Gabriel take off?”

“It was my fault.”

“Your fault? What’d you do?”

Sam mumbles something Dean doesn’t catch. “What?”

“I kissed him!”

Dean stares. “Dude, you said you weren’t–”

“We’re not!” Sam slumps over again. “He thought it was a pity kiss.”

“I still don’t get how this happened in the first place. I mean he was _killing me_ and you _slept with him?_ What the–“ he shoots a glance at Jonah and amends, “What?”

Sam sighs. “You don’t remember it. You don’t know how it was. You died, _every day,_ and there was _nothing_ I could do about it! It was the same day, over and over, nothing ever changed! And he was the only one who…”

“So, what, it was like Stockholm Syndrome or something? Dude, that’s fucked up!”

“You think I don’t know that?!” Sam demands.

“If you know that, why’d you kiss him? You’ve never been into guys!”

Sam mumbles something else. All Dean catches is “college” and “frat party” and “drunk.”

“Dude, what?”

“It’s not important!”

Dean doubts that, but he lets it go. “So you have a thing for Gabriel?”

“No!” Sam says. “Maybe. I dunno. When I first found out about Jonah I thought it was another trick.”

“Understandable,” Dean says.

“But he didn’t–I mean it wasn’t just about Jonah.”

“No?”

Sam shakes his head. “I mean, he did want me to accept the fact that I had a kid, but…I dunno, I got the idea he wanted me to accept the fact that it was with him.”

Dean takes a moment to process that. “And did you?”

“Yeah. I mean, I kinda have to if we’re gonna be raising a kid.”

“But you want more than that?” Dean wants to know.

“I…don’t even know. It’s moot now anyway.”

“Dude, he’ll be back!”

“You think so?” Sam mumbles dejectedly.

“Yeah. C’mon, he wouldn’t just abandon his kid!”

_I hope._


	5. Getting Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Will you _shut the hell up_ for once in your life?”

Gabriel doesn’t come back.

They’d had to buy a car seat for the Impala. Dean had bitched and moaned about his image, but Sam knew for a fact that he would rather buy a hybrid than let Jonah get hurt. He’d been surprised at how quickly Dean took to him after he found out.

They have to make sure there’s always someone to keep an eye on him, since motels aren’t exactly childproof. Sam wonders how Dad managed when he and Dean were younger.

They buy a couple of toys to keep him busy, and go to Goodwill to get some more clothes. Sam hadn’t realized exactly how much Gabriel had been taking care of, even after Sam had found out about Jonah.

Jonah sleeps next to him, and it’s impossible to get him to go to bed. Sam’s taken to borrowing children’s books from the library and reading to him until he falls asleep in desperation.

Dean snorts at that, and on the few occasions he’s tried to get Jonah to sleep he sings classic rock to him, which works pretty well actually. Sam’s sure he’s doing it so he won’t have any influence over Jonah’s taste in music.

Jonah has powers, which makes things awkward. They’re sporadic, and he doesn’t have much control over them, but after the time at the diner when their food turned into graham crackers and chocolate pudding they started getting take-out more often.

“Sam, we can’t keep doing this,” Dean says one day about two weeks after Gabriel left.

Sam sighs. “I know. But what choice do we have?”

“I’m just worried about what will happen if demons show up. We haven’t been hunting, but Lucifer’s still out there.”

Sam grimaces. He knows that. It keeps him up at night, worrying that Lucifer will use Jonah to force him to say yes.

“I wish Gabriel would come back.”

Dean sighs. “You and me both.”

Given that Cas has been making himself scarce since Jonah puked on his shirt Sam doesn’t doubt it.

***

A month after Sam had kissed Gabriel he suddenly pops into the motel room.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Dean yells, dropping the gun (thankfully not loaded) on the bed.

“Fuck!” Jonah echoes.

Gabriel’s eyes narrow dangerously. “You been teaching my kid to swear, Winchester?”

“What are you doing here?” Sam demands.

“I came to see my kid, what else?”

“But you’ve been gone for a month!” Sam protests.

“So?”

Dean tenses, and before he can say something that will make Gabriel smite him, Sam grabs the archangel’s elbow. “We need to talk.”

Gabriel lets Sam drag him out of the motel room, thankfully. Sam doesn’t stop at the door, but drags Gabriel through the parking lot, over to the soda machines. Gabriel smirks at him, but there’s something uncertain underneath it. “Problem, Sammy?”

“Hell yeah there’s a problem! First off you left me alone with Jonah for a month!”

“Not alone!” Gabriel protests.

“It’s not Dean’s job to take care of him! And Cas doesn’t know how to deal with kids. We _agreed_ Gabriel! We’d take care of him together! And then you up and leave!”

“I didn’t–”

“I thought you were through running,” Sam cuts him off, and takes a savage sort of pleasure in Gabriel’s wince.

“Sam–”

“I’m _also_ pissed that you disappeared before I could explain.”

Gabriel’s eyes narrow. “Explain what?”

“It wasn’t a pity kiss.”

“Yeah, sure–” Gabriel starts, but Sam cuts him off again.

“Will you _shut the hell up_ for once in your life? Jesus!”

Gabriel’s eyes widen, and then he snaps his mouth closed with a _pop_ and a mocking salute.

“It wasn’t a pity kiss,” Sam repeats, trying to get his thoughts together as he speaks. “Yeah, the first time was a fluke, and yeah, I didn’t want anything to do with you after that. But when I found out about Jonah…” He runs a hand through his hair. “You’re really good with him. And you helped out a lot.”

“You still haven’t explained why you kissed me,” Gabriel says, but shuts up when Sam glares at him.

“It…I don’t even know. You didn’t have to tell me about Jonah, didn’t have to let me be a part of his life, but you did. And once I started spending more time with you–”

“You fell in love with me, is that it?” Gabriel sneers. It’s all an act. Sam can see that he wants to believe it, wants to believe Sam gives a damn about him but he’s refusing to let himself. Sam adds Gabriel to the ever-growing list of people with issues he knows.

“God no!” Sam laughs, “But it did change how I saw you.”

Gabriel snorts. “Whatever, Winchester. I don’t–”

Sam can tell Gabriel’s not going to listen, so he steps forward and kisses him.

Gabriel freezes, but Sam keeps kissing him until he relaxes. Even then it’s a long moment before he kisses back.

Sam pulls back, to see that Gabriel has a stunned expression on his face. “The one time I _want_ you to read my mind…”

“I…already did,” Gabriel manages.

Sam snorts. “Apparently not well enough.”

Gabriel moves his hand as though he’s going to touch him, then lets it fall.

Sam rolls his eyes. “What part of ‘I want this’ don’t you understand?”

Gabriel lets out a shuddering sigh, and, rather than kissing him, wraps his arms around Sam and buries his face in Sam’s neck.

For a moment Sam’s too taken aback to do anything, then his arms come up and he hugs Gabriel back.

They stand like that for a long while. When Gabriel finally pulls back he kisses Sam, hard and desperate. Sam was half-expecting it. He doesn’t expect Gabriel to believe this is real until he’s managed to convince him he’s not going to change his mind.

But he’s not expecting to have such a strong reaction to it. Sam buries his hands in Gabriel’s jacket and lets him do what he wants, licking along Sam’s teeth, then pushing past them.

Sam moans and Gabriel pushes his overshirt down his shoulders, untucking Sam’s tee from his jeans.

He pulls away with a gasp of “Dean.”

“You think of your brother at a time like this?” Gabriel asks with a raised brow, and Sam laughs weakly.

“No, I mean Dean will be wondering where we’ve gone. And someone could see us.”

“What, you’re not into exhibitionism?” Gabriel pouts, but Sam’s headed back to the motel room.

“Wait here.”

He goes inside to see Dean with Jonah on his lap. Sam rubs the back of his neck, staring at the floor. “So, yeah, um…Gabriel and I need to talk. Can you watch Jonah for awhile?”

Dean looks at him, and he can see him taking in the guilty expression, rumpled clothes and swollen lips. He rolls his eyes. “Talk. Yeah, sure. Just don’t take all night, alright?”

Sam sags with relief that his brother has apparently accepted the situation. “Thanks, Dean,” he says fervently and heads back outside.

Dean’s parting, “Whatever, I just don’t wanna know about it!” follows him.  



	6. Unification

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Gabriel talk.

As soon as Sam closes the door, Gabriel slaps a hand to his forehead.

“Wh-” Sam manages when they land, blinking as he looks around.

They’re in a bedroom, somewhere. There’s a dark blue carpet on the floor, a canopy bed with matching hangings, a royal blue comforter and more pillows than Sam’s ever seen in his life, and not much else.

“You wanted to talk in private didn’t you?” Gabriel asks, smirking. “And I figured you wouldn’t want another motel room.”

“Uh…yeah.” But now that his momentum’s been broken, now that he’s confronted with the reality of what he hadn’t let himself think about ever since Gabriel came back he freezes up.

Gabriel reaches out and brushes a lock of hair behind Sam’s ear. “You do want to do this, don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah of course I do! It’s just…” Sam stops, blushing.

“You’re nervous,” Gabriel completes.

“Yeah.” It’s not like he has that much experience with this kind of thing, just that one time in college, and then the last time they’d done this, and he hadn’t exactly been thinking clearly either time.

“I won’t do anything you don’t want, you know that right?”

“Yeah.”

Gabriel stands on his toes, tips Sam’s head down and kisses him. Sam inhales long through his nose and his hand comes up behind Gabriel’s neck. He presses forward so there’s no space between them.

Gabriel’s tongue glides over the seam of his lips and Sam opens his mouth with a moan, letting Gabriel explore his mouth.

After a moment though, he gets bolder, chases Gabriel’s tongue back into his mouth.

Gabriel makes an approving noise and starts pushing Sam’s overshirt down.

Sam breaks the kiss then, since Gabriel might not need to breathe, but _he_ does. He stays close though, leaning his forehead against Gabriel’s and breathing into his mouth.

Gabriel pushes his overshirt off completely and Sam lets it fall, moving back to rid Gabriel of his jacket. It strikes him that Gabriel hasn’t simply snapped their clothes away, as Sam’s sure he can, and he wonders if that’s out of respect for the fact that he’s nervous about this.

His fingers twitch beneath the hem Gabriel’s T-shirt, and Gabriel’s breath hitches. Sam leans in to kiss him again, running the flat of his palm over Gabriel’s back, pushing the shirt up.

Gabriel’s hands fist in the hem of Sam’s shirt, and he pulls back long enough to let Gabriel pull it off, and to pull off Gabriel’s shirt, then kisses him again.

It’s Sam who pushes Gabriel toward the bed, his earlier nerves forgotten.

Gabriel lets out a faint “ _Oof!_ ” as he hits the bed. Sam follows him down, sucking on his throat as Gabriel’s fingers pull at his belt.

Sam rolls away and Gabriel growls, but Sam only toes off his shoes and gets rid of his socks. Gabriel snaps and when Sam looks down his shoes and socks are gone. He rolls his eyes. Apparently Gabriel hadn’t been able to completely refrain from using his powers.

Gabriel ignores him and finishes getting rid of Sam’s belt. Sam isn’t really paying attention, since he’s too busy trying to unbuckle Gabriel’s own belt.

He growls in frustration, and Gabriel laughs, snapping his fingers again, and the rest of their clothes are gone.

Sam blinks. “Thanks.”

Gabriel kisses him again, long and deep, pressing him down into the pillows. “No problem,” he says when he pulls away.

Gabriel brushes his thumbs over Sam’s nipples and he whines and arches up.

“What do you want, Sammy?” Gabriel whispers.

“Wh…what?” He pulls himself out of the haze he’s fallen into, trying to concentrate on Gabriel’s words.

“What do you want to do? I could suck you off, or jack you off, or–”

“Last time,” Sam says, and swallows as Gabriel looks at him, waiting. “Last time I fucked you.” Which wasn’t quite true. Last time Gabriel had fucked himself _on_ him, but whatever.

“You want to do that again?” Gabriel asks.

Sam swallows again. “N-no…I was wondering if…if you could…”

“You want me to fuck you, is that it?”

Sam nods. “But you can’t, can you? I mean I’ve never done it before and I can’t just…” He knows enough to know that you can’t just wake up one morning randomly deciding you want a guy to fuck you and have it work if you haven’t ever done it.

“Sure you can. If you want.”

“But–”

“Do you trust me?”

A few months ago the answer to that question would have been an emphatic _No,_ but that was before he found out about Jonah, before he started spending more time around Gabriel and learning how to read him, figure him out. “Yes.”

An almost pained expression crosses Gabriel’s face and he closes his eyes. “OK then.”

Gabriel snaps his fingers and there’s suddenly a bottle of lube in his hand. He opens it and squeezes some into his palm.

He smoothes his other hand down Sam’s side. “Just relax. I’ll help you, but I can’t do anything if you’re tense.”

Sam nods, taking deep breaths and trying to let go of the nerves that have surged up again.

Gabriel doesn’t do anything right away, just leans down and kisses him. Sam sighs and kisses back, and when Gabriel does touch him, it’s only to wrap his lube-slicked hand around Sam’s cock.

Sam gasps in surprise and arches up as Gabriel strokes him. He shudders as Gabriel runs his thumb over the head of his cock. “Gabriel…”

He pulls away, squirts more lube onto his finger and presses it between Sam’s cheeks. Sam hisses and instinctively draws away.

“Relax,” Gabriel repeats, and Sam forces himself to stay still as Gabriel slides a finger in. Gabriel takes hold of his cock again with his other hand and Sam closes his eyes.

Gabriel pushes the finger in deeper, and when he hits Sam’s prostate he throws his head back and moans.

Gabriel rubs over his prostate again before sliding his finger out, adding more lube and pushing back in with two.

Sam whines at the stretch, but Gabriel shushes him and leans down to kiss him again. After a moment he feels his muscles relaxing on their own and Gabriel pushes a third finger in.

He spreads them, stretching him out and Sam moans. “Gabriel…” He’s never been this turned on before, not even the first time he had sex.

“Shhh.” Sam feels his muscles relaxing again, and he thinks Gabriel is going to fuck him, but he just adds a fourth finger and stretches him some more.

“Gabriel, for fuck’s _sake_ … _Nngh!_ ”

“Keep your hair on, Sammy,” Gabriel grins back. “How do you want to do this?”

“Wh-…wha?” It’s completely unreasonable for Gabriel to expect him to have enough rational thought left to understand questions, let alone respond to them.

“I could take you from behind, or you could ride me, or we could do it face-to-face…”

The images conjured up by Gabriel’s words are almost enough to make Sam come all on their own, but he manages to gasp, “Face-to-face.” He wants to be able to see Gabriel when they do this.

“OK.” Gabriel pulls his fingers out and Sam moans at the loss, but then Gabriel is pushing into him and he can’t care anymore.

It hurts, even with all the preparation, even with Gabriel forcing his muscles to relax, and Sam makes a small noise of discomfort.

Gabriel stops moving immediately. “You OK?”

“Yeah,” Sam gasps. “Just… just gimme a sec.”

Gabriel nods, and after a moment Sam puts his hand in the small of Gabriel’s back and says, “OK,” and Gabriel pushes in the rest of the way.

Gabriel stops again after that, and Sam takes a moment to appreciate his superhuman control.  
It doesn’t hurt anymore, but it feels weird, and for a moment Sam isn’t sure that he wants to do this.

But then Gabriel starts moving, and Sam claws at his back as Gabriel hits his prostate again. His hands move up to clutch at Gabriel’s shoulders and Gabriel _growls,_ and pulls all the way out of him to slam back in again.

Sam’s hips jerk up, and he pulls Gabriel down for a kiss, more a frantic clashing of tongues and teeth than like any of their previous kisses.

Gabriel moves down to bite at his throat, and Sam gasps at the sudden pain and clenches around him. Gabriel lets out a long moan, like he’s in pain, and comes inside Sam.

A moment later Sam’s coming too, spots swimming in front of his eyes.

Gabriel collapses on top of him. He’s surprisingly heavy for someone so small. But a moment later he pulls out, slowly. Sam still flinches.

“Yeah, you’re gonna be sore for awhile. Or you would be,” Gabriel says, snapping his fingers, “If you weren’t sleeping with an archangel.”

And abruptly the ache is gone and all that’s left is the boneless feeling that comes after a good orgasm. “You’re awesome.”

Gabriel smirks at him. “I know.”

Sam laughs and leans over to kiss him, realizing that he might be a little bit in love with Gabriel after all.  



	7. To the Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re not mojo-ing Cas into heat, or whatever the hell you’re planning.”

They’re at a diner, Jonah sitting in a highchair at the end of the table eating Cheerios. Gabriel’s able to keep his powers locked down, which means they can go out to eat without causing a scene.

Sam leans back into the booth and sighs. He’s as close to content as he’s likely to get. Gabriel is sitting next to him eating an icecream sundae. Dean’s currently occupied with a continent-sized slice of apple pie à la mode.

He glances at Gabriel, who’s making a production of licking off his spoon. Gabriel sees him looking and smirks. “Want some?”

Sam rolls his eyes, but grabs the spoon and scoops some ice cream out of the bottom of the glass.

“Dude, you need to try some!” Dean says, and Sam focuses on the other side of the table again.

Cas looks at the pie dubiously. “I’d rather not.”

“C’mon man, it’s apple pie with vanilla ice cream! Best thing there is!”

“I don’t–”

He’s cut off by Dean shoving a forkful of pie in his open mouth.

Cas’ eyes widen, then he chews the pie and swallows it. “That’s good!”

“Told you,” Dean smirks and Sam trades a glance with Gabriel, because _seriously?_ Dean. Is sharing. His _pie._ If he hadn’t already known there was an Apocalypse going on that would prove it.

It’s further proven when Dean shoves his pie across the table and says, “Here, you can finish it.”

_Seriously?!_

Dean’s crush on Cas has been becoming more and more obvious. Sam didn’t know why Dean didn’t just kiss him already. Not that he wanted to think about his brother kissing anyone, because _gross_.

Thinking about it though, he realizes Dean _actually might not know._ God knows he’s allergic to all feelings, especially his own.

“He doesn’t,” Gabriel says, and Sam glares at him, as Dean gives him an odd look. _Stay outta my head!_

“You can’t make me.”

“Dude, try to keep the craziness to a minimum, huh? We’re in public.”

Gabriel sticks his tongue out at Dean.

Sam considers bringing it up later, since he’s getting sick of Dean and Cas making moon eyes at each other. But he knows how that would go. First would come the Big Gay Freakout, then _I’m Not Worthy_ , then _He’s an Angel, They Don’t Do That_ (despite the fact that Sam is proof that they _do_ do that) and then _He’s Not Interested Anyway, Oh Woe is Me_. Sam doesn’t want to deal with it.

So he just watches Cas eat the rest of Dean’s pie and shakes his head.

***

He complains to Gabriel about it back in their room. “They’re ridiculous. Dean claims to be Mr. totally unreadable, macho, no chick flick moments, but he’s starting to make me sick.”

Gabriel snorts. “Cas isn’t any better. He thinks Dean hung the moon.”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything, but I dunno how much more of this I can take.”

“I could…help things along.”

“ _No,_ Gabriel! You’re not mojo-ing Cas into heat, or whatever the hell you’re planning.”

Gabriel cocks an eyebrow. “Interesting idea. Actually I was thinking of locking them into a closet they couldn’t get out of until they either fucked or admitted their feelings.”

Sam chokes on a laugh. “No.”

Gabriel pouts at him.

***

A few minutes later Gabriel goes to find Cas. Sam told him not to lock them in a closet or mojo Cas into heat. He’d _meant_ “don’t use your angel powers to fuck things up.” So he’s not going to. But Sam didn’t say anything about talking.

He sees Cas coming out of Dean’s room (cheaper to get two rooms than three his ass) and calls him over.

“What do you want, Gabriel?”

“What are you going to do about Dean?” There’s no use being subtle with Cas.

Cas tilts his head at him. “I…am not going to do anything about him.”

Gabriel snorts. “No shit. That’s the problem.”

Cas stares at him. “Problem?”

“He’s absolutely stupid in love with you.”

The head-tilt gets more extreme. “I…no he’s not!”

“Oh for…you think he shares his pie with just _anyone?_ ”

“He would have told me!”

“Hello? Have you _met_ Dean Winchester?”

Cas nods, acknowledging the point. “I still think you’re mistaken.”

“I’m not. I checked.”

Cas bristles at him. “You read Dean’s thoughts without his permission?”

“Jeez, bro, back off! You’ve really got it bad, haven’t you? It’s not like I needed to to see it, but yes.”

“Don’t you _ever_ do that again,” Cas says quietly, venomously.

“Or what? You’ll smite me?” Gabriel laughs.

Cas doesn’t say anything, but his expression is almost enough to cause damage on its own. Gabriel laughs again and can’t resist ruffling his hair. “Relax, bro. I won’t snoop in your boyfriend’s head. Promise.”

Cas pulls back with an offended expression and tries to fix his hair.

“Besides,” Gabriel continues cheerfully. “Don’t know what I’d find in there.”

Cas glowers at him again.

“So are you going to bring it up, or what?”

“I’m…not sure how,” Cas confesses.

Gabriel shrugs. “Just kiss him. He’ll get the picture.”

Cas still looks uncertain.

“Or you could keep staring at him for the rest of eternity,” Gabriel says.

Cas pauses, then nods. “You have a point.”  



	8. Spell it Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dean is oblivious and stubborn.

Sam comes into the motel room to see Gabriel, with a wistful look on his face, looking down at Jonah asleep on his bed. “Gabriel?”

Gabriel looks up at him. “Shhh. I just got him to sleep.”

Sam nods and motions outside.

Outside the motel room, Sam’s about to ask Gabriel what’s wrong, but before he can Gabriel says, “Thanks.”

Sam feels his brow furrowing. “For what?”

“I…haven’t had a family in a long time,” Gabriel mutters, not looking at him.

 _Oh._ Sam’s not sure what to say to that.

“I mean, I’ve had kids before, but I wasn’t any kind of a dad. I’m trying to make up for that.”

“Wait, you’ve had kids _before?_ ” Sam’s torn between astonishment, curiosity and insane jealousy.

Gabriel smiles lazily, like he knows what Sam’s thinking. “Sure. Fenrir, Hel, Jörmungandr, Váli and Nari…”

“Fen…but those are _Loki’s_ kids!” Sam protests.

Gabriel gives him a Look.

Sam feels a chill thread down his spine. Gabriel as a Trickster was bad enough, but _Loki_ …Loki was _vicious_.

“Oh, please,” Gabriel snorts. “You try dealing with the politics in Asgard. I had to be.”

“But you…he…they bound him. You shouldn’t be here!” It’s impossible. Gabriel can’t be Loki. Loki was bound until Ragnarok, with a serpent’s venom dripping on his face.

“Please,” Gabriel says again. “I’m an archangel, you don’t think I could break out of that?”

Sam shakes his head. This is too much to… “Wait a minute!” he says, thinking of something else. “Did you really give birth to a horse?”

Gabriel smirks at him. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

***

Dean lies on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Now that Gabriel’s hanging around they’ve been getting separate rooms (since he does _not_ want to know what Sam and Gabriel are doing at night), although Sam still asks him to babysit occasionally (again, he doesn’t want to know).

“Dean.”

He yells and almost falls on the floor. No matter how many times Cas pops in out of nowhere, his instincts can’t get used to it. He figures that’s probably a good thing, in the long run. “Jesus, Cas, don’t _do_ that!”

Cas frowns at him, but nods. It doesn’t matter. He can’t train Cas not to pop up out of nowhere, or stop invading his personal space, although Dean’s at least managed to get him to stop watching him while he sleeps.

“We need to talk.”

Dean groans. Whenever Cas uses that voice it means Dean’s about to be thrown back to the seventies, or told to torture Alistair or something else that will completely fuck him up. “What?” he says, getting up.

Cas shifts slightly. It’s not a big thing, but Cas doesn’t have any of the normal nervous habits that humans do. If he’s upset enough to be showing it like that, Dean _knows_ he’s in deep shit. “I talked to Gabriel.”

Great. “What’d he say?”

“He said…” Cas stops, then leans forward and kisses him.

Dean’s eyes bug out and he stands frozen for a second before his brain processes what’s happening, then he backpedals to the other side of the room, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “What the…you… _Cas?!_ ”

Cas draws further away from him. “I apologize. Gabriel said–”

“What? What the fuck could that son of a bitch _possibly_ say to make you decide to do that?!”

“He said you were in love with me.”

“He’s lying!”

Cas’ face shutters. “Ah,” he says tonelessly. “My apologies.”

And he’s gone as abruptly as he appeared.

***

Dean’s in a bad mood for the rest of the day and he can’t sleep that night.

“Where’s Cas?” Sam asks the next morning.

Dean scowls. “You want breakfast?”

“Sure, but–”

Dean grabs the keys to the Impala off the table. “Be back in a few.”

He isn’t back for an hour, since he drives around the neighborhood for forty minutes before he bothers looking for a Burger King.

Cas had kissed him. Cas had _kissed_ him. Because Gabriel apparently said Dean was in love with him. Dean’s been putting up with him, since he’s recently been helpful every so often, but now they’re going to definitely have Words.

He fumes. What gives Gabriel the right to feed Cas bullshit like that? Being a Trickster is one thing, lying to your own brother is another.

When he finally gets back to the motel he has three double bacon Croissanwiches for himself, an egg and cheese Croissanwich and French Toast sticks for Sam, and nothing for Gabriel.

***

Cas doesn’t come back for three days.

On the first day Dean hunts down Gabriel. “What the fuck did you tell Cas?”

“What do you mean?” Gabriel asks, leaning lazily against the wall.

“I mean you said I was in love with him!”

“And your point?”

“My…” Dean sputters for a moment. “My _point_ is that it’s bullshit!”

Gabriel snorts. “Oh, come on, Winchester! Even you can’t be that deluded!”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Dean snaps, but Gabriel just smirks at him and vanishes.

“Son of a _bitch!_ ”

***

Dean wakes up cranky on the second day, since he didn’t sleep again. His dreams had been disturbing. Not the usual hunter-nightmares or memories of Hell, but formless dreams where he was looking for something he couldn’t find, and he had the feeling if he could just remember something, or figure something out, he’d be able to.

“Where’s Cas?” Sam asks again, and Dean snaps.

“How the fuck should I know? He doesn’t tell me where he’s going! He’s probably off looking for God.”

Sam holds up his hands. “OK, dude, it was just a question, don’t bite my head off!”

But he really has no clue where Cas is. And the thought that he might not come back, that Dean might never see him again, sends a shard of the kind of pain through him that he only got when Sam died and Dad went to Hell for him.

And he guesses that makes sense. Cas is family, after all. But then again it doesn’t, since Cas isn’t _dead_ (hopefully), just gone.

***

On the third day, he calls Cas.

_Please leave your message for “I don’t understand. Why do you want me to say my name?”_

Dean rolls his eyes. But, remembering his 'The voice says I'm almost out of minutes!’ he's not really surprised.

When the phone beeps he croaks, “Cas,” then clears his throat. “Cas, come back, please. I’m sorry I…I’m sorry. We need to talk.”

He hangs up the phone and throws it angrily on the bed. It bounces and hits the floor.

***

Cas doesn’t come back for two more days, during which Dean’s alternately convinced that a) Cas is ignoring him, b) he hasn’t checked his messages, c) he doesn’t know _how_ to check his messages, and d) he’s hurt/dead/captured.

So he’s beyond relieved when Cas appears in the room, even though it nearly gives him a heart attack.

“Hello Dean. You wanted to talk?”

Dean shoots Sam a Look.

“I’ll just, I’ll…uh…go somewhere else for awhile,” he says, and leaves.

Dean rolls his eyes at his brother’s smoothness.

“Cas, I…I’m sorry I freaked out like that, but dude…I’m not in love with you!”

Cas nods. “Obviously Gabriel was mistaken.”

_Or he was lying._

“I apologize,” Cas continues.

“Dude, don’t…don’t apologize. Just…don’t take off like that again, OK? I was worried about you.”

“You were?” Cas asks softly.

Dean nods. “Yeah,” he sighs. “I was.”


	9. A Beginner’s Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gabriel yanks Dean’s head out of his ass.

Dean’s not in love with Cas. It’s ridiculous. But he can’t shake the thought out of his head.

Cas has been…not avoiding him, but he’s been even more formal and awkward than usual when Dean’s around him, which he hadn’t thought was possible.

And he’s been spending more time off looking for God. Gabriel used to give him crap for that, but Sam started with the kicked-puppy expressions, so now Gabriel just snorts.

Dean worries about Cas when he’s gone. It’s not like he can’t take care of himself, even with his mojo reduced, but he can’t help it. He never used to worry about him like this before. Or maybe he had and just hadn’t noticed.

So, OK, he’s worried about the guy. That doesn’t mean he’s in love with him. Cas is family, same as Bobby. The only reason he’s not in the same category as Sam and Jonah is because Cas isn’t his blood.

But he can’t stop obsessing over this, turning the idea backwards and forwards and on its head, picking it up and shaking it to see if something falls out. God _damn_ Gabriel!

***

“Why’d you tell Cas I was in love with him?”

Gabriel looks over at Dean and rolls his eyes. “Are you still obsessing about that?”

“No!” Dean says, too quickly. “I just want to know why you told him that of all things. If you wanted to fuck with him there are better ways.”

“I don’t fuck with Cas.” That time in Ohio was self-defense. He didn’t want Cas blurting out his identity.

“So you wanted to fuck with me, is that it? Well, leave Cas out of it!”

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “If I wanted to fuck with you there are _so_ many better things I could do.”

“I just said that.”

“Yeah. You did. I’m not fucking with you. I wanna help.”

“Oh, sure,” Dean snorts. “By lying to Cas?”

And, fine, maybe Dean has reason not to trust him, but… “I’m not lying. You _are_ in love with him.”

“I’m not!”

“Oh, please! It’s obvious, even if I hadn’t read your mind.”

Dean goes pale. “You were in my head?! What the fuck gives you the right–”

“Oh, relax, Winchester!” Gabriel drawls. “Cas pitched a fit and I promised him I wouldn’t do it again. Besides, like I said, it’s obvious even without that.” _Sam noticed before I did._ But he doesn’t say that, since he wants to get laid sometime in the next ten years.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Dean demands

‘You shared your _pie,_ dumbass! If that’s not love, I don’t know what is!”

Dean fumes for a moment, then stomps out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

***

Gabriel hadn’t actually promised Sam not to use his mojo. And it’s not like he’d be doing anything harmful. He’d be happy to leave things alone, if leaving things alone didn’t mean Dean’s head would stay stuck so far up his ass he’d need it surgically removed and whenever Cas showed up he’d mope.

Contrary to popular belief, Gabriel does want his brother to be happy. He doesn’t entirely approve of Dean, but he’s the one Cas had gone and fallen in love with, the poor kid.

So he’s just going to…nudge things along. Flick a switch in Dean’s subconscious, so he’ll _realize_ what an idiot he’s been.

He doesn’t tell Sam though, because, as previously stated, he wants to get laid sometime in the next ten years.

***

_It’s night and fog clings to the ground. Dean’s looking for something, but he can’t remember what. It’s something important…_

_No, it’s not a thing. He’s looking for Cas. Cas is gone, and Dean doesn’t know where he is. He has to find him, before something happens to him. Has to tell him…what? Something._

_He spots Cas suddenly, in the middle of a field. But before he can go to him a dark figure looms up, a blade glinting in its hand._

_“Cas!” he yells, sprinting toward him._

_Cas whirls, as the figure jabs a knife in his ribs and vanishes._

_Dean gets to Cas just as he collapses, blood welling out of his mouth._ Crap, it punctured a lung. _Dean puts pressure on the wound, knowing there’s not much he can do._

 _But this isn’t right, Cas is an_ angel, _he shouldn’t go down to a guy with a knife._

 __But he’s losing his mojo. Because of you. Heaven’s after him because of _you._

_He puts aside the guilt of that. “Hey, hey, it’s OK, you’re gonna be OK.” He’s horribly reminded of holding Sam the same way three years ago, saying the same things. It does about as much good now as it did then._

_Cas grabs hold of his shirt, coughs out,_ Dean _, then his eyes go vacant, and his body goes limp._

 _Dean stares at Cas’ body, at the blood on his hands, unable to take it in. It’s not fair, that Cas lost his mojo because of him,_ died _because of him, died before he could tell him he loved him._

He bolts awake. A dream. It was a dream. A horrible _nightmare._ Cas is fine, or as fine as he can be, considering.

But what the hell was that? He isn’t…

Dean collapses on the bed. Fuck. He’s in love with Cas. And he’d been a complete and total asshole.

He gets out of bed, finds his cell phone on the table and looks up Cas’ number. He hopes Cas is somewhere he gets reception and not at the bottom of the Atlantic or on Jupiter or what the fuck ever.

Cas picks up after three rings. “Dean.”

He coughs. “Yeah. Look, can you…I need to talk. We’re still in Oklahoma.”

Before he can even tear his hair out because of how lame that sounds Cas is in the motel room.

Dean hurries over to him and runs his hands over Cas’ sides, checking for injuries.

Cas blinks at him, puzzled. “Dean?”

Dean freezes, realizing how this must look, and backs off. “Sorry, I, uh…I had a nightmare. You got stabbed. Killed.” He doesn’t say anything else, since he’s still trying to get hold of himself and doesn’t want to do something stupid, like break down.

“I am fine, Dean.”

“Yeah. I know. I just…” He takes a deep breath. “I was a real jerk a couple of weeks ago, and I’m sorry.”

Cas tilts his head at him. “Sorry for what?”

Dean gives him a sharp look, but it doesn’t seem like he’s being coy. “When you kissed me. I freaked out. And when you said Gabriel told you I was in love with you.”

The angle of Cas’ headtilt gets sharper. “Why are you apologizing? I was acting on misinformation and–”

“But you _weren’t!_ ” Dean cuts him off.

Cas stares at him.

“That dream, it…I mean, you _died_ and I hadn’t…and I guess I kinda am, but…I mean, I didn’t think so at the time, but–”

His babbling is stopped by Cas stepping forward and kissing him. He flails a little, before his hands land on Cas’ shoulders.

It’s obviously a beginner’s kiss, with too much tongue and no idea of degree. Dean slows him down a little, and as Cas backs off and lets him take control of the kiss Dean thinks he’ll enjoy making sure he gets better at kissing.

**Five Years Later:**

Dean sat in the kitchen, finishing his coffee. After the Apocalypse had ended they’d decided to take a break from hunting for awhile and rent a house. They’d started going on hunts in the area, on the weekends a few years ago, but both he and Sam had jobs now. And they couldn’t leave for too long because–

_CRASH!_

Dean winced at the sound of something shattering in the other room and put down his coffee.

“What the _hell?_ ” he bellowed.

In the living room, there was no sign of what made the crash, but neither boy was looking at the window, and he saw a baseball bat peeking out from behind the couch.

“Sorry, Uncle Dean,” Jonah said. “It was my fault.”

Dean rolled his eyes. He knew how that went. “That true?”

Bobby looked up at him, blue eyes wide, and nodded. “Yeah.”

If you believed Jonah, he was a hellion and Bobby never did anything wrong. Which might make some sense, considering their parents, but Dean was pretty sure it was something else.

“I told you, no playing ball in the house. Things get broken.” They might be able to fix it, but that wasn’t the point. He and Sam would never have dared to break a window; Dad would have walloped them for it. Dean wasn’t about to hit Jonah and Bobby, but they had to have some rules.

“Sorry, Daddy.”

“Sorry, Uncle Dean.”

Back in the kitchen Dean sighed and dumped the remnants of his cold coffee down the sink. “I’m too old for this shit.”


End file.
